I Just Got Engaged! Now What? First things first! Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate! Take a few moments and enjoy the moment. You are preparing to plan a truly meaningful celebration. This is your show. But you want to know a few things to do after getting engaged...I’m here for you.
ANNOUNCEMENT
1. Who are you going to tell that you are engaged?
Don’t let Grandma find out about your engagement from Facebook. Please give her a call. Traditionally, you would tell your immediate family (parents, siblings) first. Be mindful of individual feelings and respect for different communication styles. And remember…telling no one is an option also.
2. How are you going to tell the free world that you are engaged?
Traditionally, you would post an ad in the newspaper. What? Yes, once upon a time there was an entire section in the local newspaper for social announcements. But now most couples create an engagement announcement on Etsy or Canva and snail mail it or hand deliver it.
Can you announce your engagement on social media? Absolutely! There are so many unique ways to announce your engagement online. Create the cutest reel on CapCut with all the cutest couple pictures you can find, or do an engagement shoot. Google "Where to get engagement photos taken near me". Photographers who specialize in engagement photos know the best spots in your town to take the best images. Another option is the proposal pic or the selfie showing off the ring. You can be as formal or as informal as you would like. Want some creative ways to announce to close family? Check out this blog from Brides.com for inspiration. Remember: keep it personal; keep it creative; keep it fun!
3. When do you make the announcement?
The excitement may be overwhelming you to send a massive text immediately. Don't. Take a moment. Breathe. And wait until the timing is right. Choose a date that has significance for you or is meaningful to you as a couple. Choose a prime time that doesn’t coincide with any other family announcement. You want to shine. However, the bottom line is that it is your news to tell when and how you choose to.
4. Get prepared for the questions. You know we are nosy and want every detail about this love story. How were you proposed to? Who was there? What happened? Get prepared to tell the story over and over and over again. Bonus, you get to relive that moment over and over again.
5. How to announce an engagement professionally?
Just wait…let them spot that piece of hardware on your ring finger! Or, you can maintain professionalism and make an office announcement verbal or group email, both are acceptable. And, on that note, set some boundaries. An engagement announcement does not give the free world the right to get all up in your business. Now, after the big news is out, you and the fiancée should sit down and create a budget. This is going to take a lot of patience.
BUDGET
1. Who’s paying for the wedding?
There are a myriad of events and planning that go into a wedding. The costs creep up quickly. Maybe you are blessed, you have parents or a fairy godmother or father who will pick up the entire tab. Or who will pick up a portion of the event. I do have to caution you here. If you allow someone to assist with wedding costs, they often want a say in how things are executed. Figure out how to talk to your family members about wedding budget expectations. For example, your parents may give you $30K for the wedding, but in return, they want two (2) tables of eight (8) of their friends and colleagues you don’t know. Do you want people at your wedding that you are not close to? Or, it doesn't matter to you at all? This is part of the conversation about the budget and guest list.
If you and your partner are picking up the entire tab, think about what kind of wedding you want. Consider how much you want to spend on each guest. Consider if you want to be the DIY couple or the all-inclusive type. And, there are countless options in between. Start saving. The average wedding in the US costs between $28,000 and $34,000.
Be honest with each other about your current financial situation. Consider savings and debts. This will help you to avoid conflict later down the road. This is also when you can mull over the pros and cons of a long engagement. A long engagement gives you more time to save and pay off debts.
Decide what is important to you. Is it the venue? Catering? Decorations? Florals? Photographer? Set your priorities early. A photographer I know was newly engaged and the first vendor she booked was the florist. Her rationale was that flowers change the room. As a photographer, she had first-hand experience with the impact of a great florist. She and her partner wanted to ensure they had the florist they wanted, so she chose the florist first and gave the florist a bigger piece of the budget pie earlier in the process.
Here's a pie chart that breaks down the average wedding costs in the U.S.:
GUEST LIST
How to Create a Guest List
1. Talk to your partner. Get down to the brass tacks. Be specific. Decide on the number of people you want to invite. Get in a range of 10 guests. For example, 40-50, 90-100, etc. Creating a wedding guest list can be daunting.
2. There are two popular schools of thought when it comes to guest lists. One is creating a list of everyone you know and then categorizing the list into A, and B groups. The A group is the "must haves" at your wedding and the B group is the "nice to haves" at your wedding. The A group are must-haves such as immediate family and close friends. The B group includes extended family, less close friends, work colleagues, former classmates, neighbors, and obligations. Obligations include people you feel obligated to invite due to family pressure or past invitations. Prioritize the A group. Get a head count. If you have space, fill in the A list with B lister spots. Send the A group save the dates and invites. Some A group invitees will notify you immediately whether they can make it. As you get declines or cancellations from the A group send B group invites to fill those empty spots. A premarital counselor from Dallas advises couples to invite only those who are supportive of their marriage to their wedding. So, if you have that frame of thinking, you are part of the second school of thought. Make one list and only invite the people that are close to you. There is just one list, and they are all A-listers. If some of the A-listers cannot make it, that’s okay. Regardless of which method you choose, you will get last-minute cancellations.
3. What to do if you don’t want to hurt feelings? Have a destination wedding. Destination weddings are beautiful and quaint. Destination weddings allow you to have a memorable experience with stunning scenery that is intimate and focused on the couple. Weddings are stressful enough. Destination weddings reduce stress because there is usually an on-site coordinator and most of the planning is done by the venue. Destination weddings are adventurous and fun. Guests can explore a new location creating a fun and adventurous atmosphere. In addition, the couple can get married and honeymoon at the same location. In Hawaii, couples get married on one island, then island hop to another island for the honeymoon. Or, they get married on one side of the island and honeymoon on another side of the island. One of the benefits of a destination wedding is fewer guests can attend due to travel costs and limitations.
Even if a destination wedding is not an option, you can eliminate hurt feelings through open communication. Have an open discussion with them about budget restraints or seating capacity. Remember it is your wedding! Focus on inviting the people who will make your wedding day special, enjoyable, and memorable.
VENUE
How to choose a venue
Communicate with your partner and decide on the vision. Is it elegant, rustic, boho, beachy somewhere in between? This will guide your wedding venue search. Then, see how many people you want to invite, and look for venues that fit your headcount, your vision, and your budget.
2. Research and explore your options: Start with online research. Wedding venue websites and online tours can give you an idea of the space without having to spend time going to see the venue in person. Consider different types of venues. Hotels, ballrooms, restaurants, vineyards, farms, ranches, art galleries, and historic locations are just a few examples of available venues.
Create a shortlist of 3-5 venues that seem promising. Look at the social media pages; check out their reviews; read past couple's experiences. Try to get an overall holistic view of the venue, offering services and amenities.
Schedule visits to the venues you want to see in person. Go ready with your list of questions and see if you can envision your wedding there. Consider your guest list and budget. Compare the pricing packages, amenities, and overall feel of the venue. If the price is right, and it feels right to you to you, trust your gut and book a date.
Remember choosing a venue is a big decision. Take your time, do your research, and prioritize the features that are most important to you and your partner.
This post served as a whirlwind tour of everything you might be thinking about after getting engaged. Breathe! Take a moment to savor the excitement, then dive into planning with a clear head and a heart full of love.
Remember, there are no hard and fast rules. Your wedding is a celebration of your unique love story.
Focus on What Matters Most
Communication: Talk openly and honestly with your partner about everything – budget, guest list, vision.
Prioritization: Decide what matters most to both of you. Is it a fancy venue or a killer photographer?
Guest Selection: Choose the people who will make your day special, supportive friends and family who celebrate your love.
Embrace Your Style
Announcement: Announce your engagement in a way that reflects your personalities. A social media post, a classic newspaper ad, or a creative photo – the choice is yours!
Venue: Find a venue that reflects your vision, whether it's a rustic barn, a chic ballroom, or a breathtaking beach.
Budget: Be realistic about finances and prioritize your spending. Consider DIY options or all-inclusive packages.
Enjoy the Journey
Wedding planning can be stressful, but it can also be a joyous time filled with anticipation. Savor these moments with your partner, delegate tasks, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Most importantly, have fun! This is a celebration of your love and the beginning of your forever adventure together.
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